Now don’t get me wrong… I have dated some serious plonkers. SERIOUS plonkers. But I like to think that Tim is a pretty decent catch, even if I do say so myself.
However, I still know some people that are single and working hard at the whole dating thing, and I can honestly say that if Tim and I called it quits tomorrow, I would never date again. What on earth has it become?!
Possibly one of the biggest life lessons I have ever learnt was that playing games is unnecessary, and it is SO easy to get sucked in. Now obviously there’s a fine line between saying you like someone and declaring your undying love and sounding a little bit creepy, but I do maintain that:
We are fully grown up adults who have the right to express our feelings and we should not be afraid of doing so (as long as you have the coping skills to deal with rejection – just remember though that what’s for you won’t go by you).
Time and time again I hear ‘it’s too soon to tell them how I feel’ or ‘there’s no point, they won’t like me back’. Well, that feeling of ‘I really want them to know but can’t tell them’ is CONSIDERABLY more consuming than expressing your feelings and moving on (either with or without that person).
My other issue with the dating world (and yes I know I sound like a 90 year old Grandma and not a 31 year ‘hip’ adult, jokes) is that people are dating too many other people in one go.
You walk into a sweet shop with all your favourite sweets… do you still know which one you want?
You walk into a bar and they have ALL the gins… know which flavour you want?
You walk into a pizza shop and they have all the pizzas…. still got a set idea of what you want?
My guess is probably not and you’re more confused than ever before. So why is it different for dating?
From watching the people that I know who are serial daters, I have noticed that they have become so confused by the options available to them they end up self-combusting and dumping everyone.
It is not time saving or however you justify it to yourself. You’re just making it so much harder for yourself. That is unless you just love to date and then crack on my friend.
Also don’t force something that isn’t meant to be. You will know pretty soon on if that person is someone who you want to spend a decent amount of time with (it doesn’t have to end in marriage). If it’s not easy, not fun and you’re not having some weird excited/nervous meltdown inside, then probably that person should be friend zoned.