The Joys of Having Anxiety


This weekend was fun. Not.

Well Saturday was fine until 6.15pm when my body decided to be annoying and I had an oesophagus spasm. Yeah, it is a thing.

The whole unemployment thing has really been getting to me as it likely that we may have to move house at some point and that breaks my heart. This thought is apparently more subconscious than I thought and when combined with some chicken (I’ve been trying a plantbased lifestyle but felt I needed some proper protein), it transpires that it is quite deeply routed.

I tried EVERYTHING to make the spasm go away – have you ever had one before? It feels like food is stuck and then its a burning pain across your chest. You can’t swallow and when you try, you throw it up. Apparently it’s what a heart attack feels like. Bloody hell. Unfortunately, a load of Buscopan and Gaviscon did minimal. Ice kind of helped.

At 7pm on Sunday evening, my throat was still gurgling away so I decided to resort to my emergency diazepam. I’ve only ever had it once before and didn’t really feel the effects, but within 20 seconds of taking it, the gurgling stopped and I could drink again. 1 hour later I was eating. 27 hours of no food and I was HUNGRY.

Today I had a job interview for the profession that clearly doesn’t want me. It was a no. The tears started and I nearly had my first panic attack since I was 15. Whilst I’m still trying to get Telle’s Nutrition Life up and running I’m looking for a part time job to pay the bills but the job market is tough. I suspected it may go internally and I think I was right, but either way I do have bills to pay. There was a piece in the news the other day about increasing rates of unemployment in Scotland.

Hopefully my 3 day stint of rubbishness is over and I will plough on tomorrow with exciting plans for Telle’s Nutritional Life!

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